Friends – your people, your tribe, the ones who root for you and want to see you succeed. Your team, the people who want the best for you, right?
Your friends should be all of the things I’ve listed above. I’m fortunate to have a handful of people that I know have my best interest at heart and vice versa. But it wasn’t always that way; I’ve gone through plenty of friendships; that’s part of growing up and part of life honestly. There are also people who are meant to help you grow and learn and experience different things and help you make it through certain times (think of the break up where you’re literally so sad you think you’re going to sink through your mattress into the floor boards…)
I think it’s weird to think about different parts of your life and the people who were there for you at that time. Also, the fact that we play parts in other people’s growth as well, whether we realize it or not. With that being said, I think it’s beneficial to stop and think about not only qualities that you want in your friends but also qualities in yourself and how to be a good friend. And a reliable one at that:
1.Honesty – This may seem obvious, but ask yourself, not only is this person honest with you but are you honest with yourself when you’re around them? Do you find yourself forcing certain things with this person? Do you feel like you should act a certain way or say certain things around said person? They’re probably not a real friend if you can’t be your authentic self around them. WE NEED TO BE LIVING OUR BEST AUTHENTIC LIVES HERE PEOPLE.
2. Sense of Humor – Do you laugh with them? Uncontrollably, laughing until your stomach hurts, laugh? This may not be the case with every single one of your friends (I’m sorry if this is true) but your humor should at least match up for the most part. You can have more serious relationships with different people, but if you can’t poke fun at one another, I think you need to revisit the authentic self tip sis.
3.Loyalty (The side of the road situation) – If you’ve been following my blog, you’ve read this time and time again and I’m going to say it louder for the guys in the back. If you were stuck on the side of the road, with no gas, stranded, could you call this person? (KELLY RUFFER, IF YOU’RE READING THIS, LOVE YOU GIRL) If the answer is “well…..yeah I think so, probably” get rid of that person, they ain’t comin. I have no doubt in my mind, my friends who would drop whatever it is they’re doing and help me and I would do the exact same for them and it’s one of the best feelings to know people care for you in that way and I truly hope you have at least one person who will do that for you.
4.Independence – A friendship, or any relationship really, works best when there are two active minds with their OWN opinions. I’m not saying you can’t see the world the same, you should, or else you’d probably kill each other. BUT, I love a friend who can say, “I get where you’re coming from, but I think THIS instead.” You shouldn’t have to hide or dumb down your thoughts to please someone else. You should be able to have your own opinions and understand why the other person thinks/feels that way.
5.Your Teammate (I know this isn’t technically a quality, but just keep reading, trust me) – Remember up at the top of this post, I said your friends are your teammates. NOT YOUR COMPETITORS. If I see one more person who is pretending to be friends with someone only to turn around and secretly hope they fail for their own benefit or competitiveness, I’m going to lose it. One person succeeding isn’t directly sucking from your success….you do all know that by now, right?
I’m not saying you should have 100 friends who hit all of these points. You just need a handful of people or even just one honestly, who you know is in your corner and you’re in theirs. Get rid of the toxic people, the negativity and the people who aren’t on your team.
And if you don’t have anyone, I’m here for you. We will hang and I will make you laugh and then drinks will be on you.